Yes, Ladies and Germs: It’s the Large Hadron Rap.
I’m not making this up. Someone else did. Scary.
Really scary. But we’re all geeks here, aren’t we?
10 September Update: Check this out – the LHC Drinking Game.
The rules are simple. Take a drink of your favorite beverage whenever one of the following occurs:
* A proton crosses the border between Switzerland and France.
* A magnet quench in a superconducting magnet causes all the liquid helium to boil away.
* A Higgs boson is detected (2 drinks).
* Scientists learn the secrets of the universe and go insane (2 drinks).
* A miniature black hole forms (2 drinks if it absorbs Switzerland).
* Strange matter is created (weird, unusual or eccentric matter doesn’t count).
* A petabyte of data is generated.
* Someone sings the chorus of the LHC Rap.
* The Super Proton Synchrotron reaches 300 gigavolts (2 drinks if it hits 400 GeV).
* The Compact Muon Solenoid finds something that completely alters our understanding of the fundamental forces of the universe.
* Flight 19 suddenly appears over Geneva.
* Particle superpartners are found to have natural supersymmetry.
* An intern confuses muons with gluons.
* The experiment goes awry and someone ends up with superpowers.
* Aliens show up and make us turn off the LHC before we implode reality.
* Scientists go back in time (2 drinks if they create a paradox).
* Someone says “Big Bang.”
* Particles crash into each other (2 drinks if there are Batman-tyle visual sound effects, like “Pow!” and “Zap!” when it happens; feel free to construct your own).
* Someone says, “What’s a hadron?”
* Scientists access another dimension (2 drinks if that dimension is occupied entirely by Donna Summer impersonators; 3 drinks if denizens of said dimension eat the scientists; note that these two conditions are not mutually exclusive).
* Someone on TV questions the amount of money spent to build the LHC.
* Someone on TV worries that the LHC will destroy the world.
* The world ends (drink whatever you have left).
* Scientists prove string theory (3 drinks because we’ll all pretty much have to take their word for it).
* Someone uses the term “beam pipe” in a pickup line.